Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support

One of the hardest areas to find healing in, is the loss of a child. There is such an unconditional love in this relationship that it is very difficult to see beyond the loss.

Firstly we need to allow the feeling of grief through so this feeling itself may heal and dissolve the loss from our lives. Grief is an emotion that allows us to let go of the loss of what was and what might have been, if we are willing to be present with this feeling.

What can help this process is to realize that the form of our child is indeed gone, is indeed "lost" to us. The form that our child expressed through has left our lives. This is truly what we grieve. But there will come a moment when we realize that the spirit, the essence of our child can never die. This spirit, this essence will live in our heart always. Who our child was and still is, is so vast, so all encompassing that this essence is never lost to us. If we are missing our child, we may check into our hearts to find its presence living within us this very moment.

The second step in this healing is to move from the focus on what was lost, to the gifts this child brought while it was present in our life. If we continue to focus on our loss, we will do a dis-service to what this child offered us and continues to offer us with its presence. To ask to see what gifts our child brought us and still offers us, allows the child's life to be the gift it was meant to be.

The third consideration is to realize how the child's gifts may have touched the world, may have brought a lightness, a remembrance of what is truly important and of value. Remember what you loved about your child, for this is what's real. This love, this gift cannot be taken from us. Focus on what the child offered, and continues to give, for this is where the real healing is found.

And lastly we may consider what we always wished for our child. We most probably wished for its happiness, its wellbeing. Consider that this is precisely what our child wishes for us. It wishes us happy and well. Again, it is a dis-service to ignore our child's blessing both of gifts and a wish for our wellness. The best we can do for our child is to grieve the loss of its form, find its spirit within our heart, and receive the gifts it wishes to give us through its very presence in our lives.

For your consideration, -- The Guides

The Miscarriage Manual: Coping with the Emotional Aspects of Pregnancy Loss
A primary guide for parents who have experienced the death of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or other perinatal loss. By C. Elizabeth Carney.

Over the Rainbow: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support

Born Angels: Pregnancy Loss Support
Born Angels is a special place to spend some time for grieving parents who have lost a baby at any stage of pregnancy. Family and friends are encouraged to visit Born Angels as well. Born Angels is dedicated to providing the support and resources grieving parents need, and to help them through their pain. Born Angels is also dedicated to "Pregnancy Loss Awareness."

Miscarriage Support Auckland Inc.
Miscarriage Support offers comforting, comprehensive and practical information by women who have experienced miscarriage and who wish to help other women and their families cope.

SHARE Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc.
SHARE is a not-for-profit nondenominational organization providing support to those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or newborn death. All information packets, correspondence, and support are free of charge for bereaved parents.

Individualizing the Grief of Miscarriage
Article by Teresa Robbins LPN

Grief After Miscarriage

SPALS: Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support
SPALS is a warm and compassionate community of people who have experienced the loss of a child due to miscarriage, selective termination, stillbirth, neonatal death, sudden infant death, or accidental death.

Google Directory: Pregnancy Loss Support Groups

CLIMB: Center for Loss in Multiple Birth, Inc.
We are parents throughout the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and beyond who have experienced the death of one or more, both or all of our twins or higher multiples at any time from conception through birth, infancy and childhood.

Hygeia?: Pregnancy and Newborn Loss
Hygeia? and Get Care at Hygeia? are unique and innovative global programs of the Hygeia Foundation, Inc. concerned with Pregnancy Loss, Maternal and Child Health and narrowing disparities in access to Information Technologies and Women's Health Services.

The M.I.S.S. Foundation
The M.I.S.S. Foundation is a nonprofit 501(c)3 international organization providing immediate and ongoing support to grieving families and reducing infant and toddler death through research and education.

H.A.N.D. - Helping After Neonatal Death
Helping After Neonatal Death, is a California non-profit 501(c)3 corporation, founded in 1981 to help parents, their families and their healthcare providers cope with the loss of a baby before, during, or after birth.

ASAST: Alliance of Grandparents, A Support in Tragedy
AGAST is an all volunteer organization dedicated to helping grandparents through the trauma, stress and grief after the loss of a grandchild.

Recommended Books

A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss - Guidance and Support for You and Your Family
by Ingrid Kohn, Perry-Lynn Moffitt, Isabelle A. Wilkins (Contributor)

Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death
by Sherokee Ilse

An Empty Cradle, a Full Heart: Reflections for Mothers and Fathers After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death
by Christine O'Keeffe Lafser, Phyllis Tickle

Miscarriage: For Parents Experiencing Fetal Death
by Joy Johnson (Editor)

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby
by Deborah L. Davis